Ayahuasca Series Part 2
I am told the minute you hear the call to do Ayahuasca the medicine starts doing its’ job. I first learned about Aya almost twenty years ago, in the months and days following my mother’s death. One could say that the call came to me then and it took me all these years and other modalities to get to it. The first thing people ask me is when did I know this was the path for me? Maybe it was all those years ago and everything in between was preparation. One thing I have become comfortable with throughout my life is the phenomenology of letting things manifest themselves. I am by nature, a pattern watcher and a documenter. I document and then I follow the signs of what to do next.
And as life would have it, a series of events (a pattern) led me to connecting with my partner Jen. Jennifer was this tiny, beautiful, blonde human with long, golden straw like hair, a petite figure and a huge southern personality. The first thing that caught my attention about her was the light in her silvery blue eyes. Her energy and vitality was palpable. Of course I fell in love with her dimples and her smile like most, but it was her presence that drew me in. Being around her was infectious. She made me laugh and think at the same time. It seemed like our worlds were so different, yet energetically we were each other’s mirror. I had been trying so hard to have relationships with people that were different from me, complimented me, eg., filled some missing part of me. Ultimately, nothing was ever missing in me and as soon as I was ready to see that, Jen showed up in my life as her own sovereign, beautiful, strong, stubborn, charismatic, whole, self. Right off the bat, we could both see that we spoke the same language even though I had never done plant medicine, I was on the path and she knew it. The same way I knew it about her. Our paths had collided for a reason. In came plant medicine and my first experience with Ayahuasca.
Several months ago Jen gifted me a session with a healer. I didn’t quite know what she was healing or what to expect. I thought she would practice some reiki on me, clear my chakras and call it a day. She had me lay on a massage table with a blanket over me. Sherry had warm presence and a sweet energy, was a medium build and height, dark featured with big beautiful light filled, brown almond shaped eyes. She stood over me holding a crystal in one hand and some palo santo in the other, she told me to close my eyes and breath. A few seconds later, I felt her hands moving over my mid section as she checked to see how my chakras aligned. She said my sacral and heart chakra needed some work, but she noted that I had a clarity about me, more than most. As soon as she finished, she had a strange look on her face like she saw a ghost and surprisingly, well she told me that my mom was in the room. I have had many experiences, from time to time, where I could swear my mom was near me, touching me, whispering in my ear, gusts of wind, classical music playing mysteriously, the garden variety. And I thought I healed the grief from my mom’s death over the many years. I was sure I had made peace with her.
This healer gave me a message that made me rethink my assumptions that day. She said she wanted me to know that if I ever felt that she didn’t believe me or see me that she was sorry. She was very specific about a time when I was eight years old. I had told my mom about sexual and physical abuse starting at the age of four. It was like the healer brought me back to the moment that shifted my life and re-wrote my history. She said my mom wanted me to know that I was special and chosen. She told me that my mom was in an alternate reality, a different dimension. She was home and happy.
She then when on to explain how the creative downloads that had been coming to me were actually coming from my mom and spirit. This is how she is guiding me now. This is part of our soul contract. Her words were very specific including my current partner and my integration into the plant medicine world. She explained our work together, traveling and sharing awareness about what we have learned. About taking care of the planet we live on and our reverence for indigenous people and their ways. “you have something to say that people need to hear now,” She said.
There was so much to wrap my head around in that session. I continued to make connections after the session. I don’t know if they were memories or that my awareness was on high alert, but images just kept pouring in. Jen and I had discussed previously, whether I would try plant medicine, specifically, Ayahuasca. Several days after the session, I had a moment, where I felt a sweeping energy move through my chest, it became tight and packed with air. I had the image of my mom making her presence known. It was in that moment I said yes.
“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”
— Joseph Campbell